Video Games in 221B Baker Street
by ProtegoMaximaMyHeart
Summary: What happens when John purchases an XBox for their flat? Hilarity mixed with an obsession for video games.
1. Never Play Against An Ex Army Doctor

Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock, the Xbox, or the games listed.

**A/N: I enjoy writing on the fly with inspiration from my friends. **

It was another boring Saturday night in 221B Baker Street. The usual body parts were decomposing in the fridge, and various test tubes were boiling in a water bath on the kitchen table. The only difference this night was that instead of the normal crap telly filling the quiet flat, punctuated with keys clacking on the keyboard, it was filled with an obscene amount of expletives, along with gunfire.

John decided on impulse to buy an Xbox, figuring that it could be another way to blow off extra steam besides his evening runs. When Sherlock found about it, he wrote it off as childish. John, with a little coaxing from Stamford, bought Modern Warfare 3. He was told the graphics were a lot sleeker, the missions were more exciting and there were more maps to choose from. John started out with the campaign, and was immediately wrapped up in to the thrill of the battlefield. It was difficult not to be glued to the game, as he had other obligations, but he at least played it on the weekends.

The detective was fascinated with how caught up his friend was with the game, and often sat on the couch next to him and observed him. One night, Sherlock finally spoke up about it.

"What thrill do you get from this game, John?"

He paused it to look at him, his head tilted in thought. "I suppose it comes from the simulation from being on the battlefield, but without actually being in harm's way. Still, I still feel compelled to play as if I'm actually there. It sounds a bit silly I suppose…" he trailed off.

"Do you think you could teach me?"

John blinked. "Seriously? I thought that you said that it was childish."

"Well, since you seem to find this so exciting, I want to understand why," Sherlock said. He walked over to the front of the telly and plugged in the second controller, taking it with him back to the couch.

John ended the game and went to the main menu, selecting the Survival mode. Sherlock probably didn't want to get killed over and over again by an ex-Army Doctor, even if it was in just a video game.

"So," John took Sherlock's controller to face him, "this is how you move," wiggled the joystick, "jump, shoot, reload, change your weapons, throw your grenades and your flash grenades, duck, and stab. Simple enough," he said while pushing the various buttons.

Sherlock nodded, taking the controller and testing all of the controls, evidently committing them to the temporary storage in his hard drive.

John started the match up, gently coaching Sherlock through it. The first time Sherlock was killed, he protested indignantly at how he could have been shot from that angle. He had to be reminded several times that it was just a video game; very reminiscent of Cluedo. Eventually, he got the hang of it within a month, racking up kills quickly. Just like how they were a great duo in real life, it translated nicely to the video game.

It became a tradition for them to play MW3 on Survival mode on Saturday nights, the goal being to get more waves done than before. The most waves that they completed that was 20, which was an achievement considering how inept Sherlock was at first.

Eventually, Sherlock challenged John to a one-on-one match, confident in his firing prowess. That was shattered quickly, as he failed to remember for a brief moment that John was in the Army and therefore quite the crackshot marksman. Poor Sherlock didn't stand a chance against him; he was lucky if he got 15 kills against John's 30. There were times were Sherlock had an extreme urge to the throw the controller against the wall. He hated to admit it, but he was such a sore loser; Mycroft was definitely the source of the problem, taunting him during their neighborhood soccer matches.

"Don't you dare go easy on me, John Hamish Watson," Sherlock growled one night when he was getting his arse particularly beaten to a pulp.

"Oh you're using my full name now. You must really be looking to beat me at my best," John said with a giggle.

It took about 5 matches before Sherlock managed to beat John, if only by a narrow margin. John just rolled his eyes and smiled; he would let Sherlock bask in the glory until he beat his arse again.

For Sherlock's birthday, John bought him Portal and Portal 2, believing that Sherlock would enjoy the challenge.

He was practically dying on the floor with laughter as Sherlock yelled at the telly over and over again, incredulous at the physics behind the game. This was definitely a better way to blow off steam.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just love the idea of these two playing video games, so I've decided to make this into a multichapter story, with each chapter revolving around a different game. If you have any suggestions, leave them in my inbox!**


	2. Black Forest Cake

Disclaimer: I don't own Portal or Portal 2.

**A/N: TheGirlWithTheOnyxRose, this is for you! :] I beat Portal 2 before playing Portal, but I believe in doing research when doing a fanfic, so I took the liberty of watching videos of Portal gameplay to find some funny quotes.**

If Sherlock yelling at the telly over how impossible the physics were wasn't funny enough, John was howling by the time that GLaDOS started insulting him.

"The enrichment center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible—"

"Nothing is impossible, you machine," Sherlock retorted

"Make no attempt to solve it," GLaDOS deadpanned.

The longer that it took him to solve it, the angrier that Sherlock got, mainly because GLaDOS was antagonizing him.

He was triumphant when he solved it.

"Fantastic. You remain resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism."

"Obviously."

* * *

><p>When he got to the part in the game when he got the dual portal device, things really got interesting. Sherlock got through the chambers a lot quicker, and he genuinely started to enjoy playing the game. He thought that the game was a perfect stimulation for his mind when clients weren't rolling through their flat.<p>

"You did it. The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck,"

"Where would I be without my Companion Cube?"

"However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized."

"WHAT?"

"Please escort your companion to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."

"No, no, NOOO!"

Sherlock tried every possible solution to get his Companion Cube through the chamber to the next level without having to destroy it. Unfortunately, nothing worked and he begrudgingly threw the cube into the incinerator. For the next couple of chambers, he was fuming. He powered through the chambers as if he was trying to prove to GLaDOS that he wasn't a heartless or unintelligent player for having to kill his Companion Cube. This was especially true when he almost got incinerated. John was sitting on the couch next to him, eating a sandwich and reading the newspaper as if this was totally normal.

* * *

><p>"Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said, "Goodbye" and you were like, "No way!" and then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!" GLaDOS sounded way too pleased.<p>

Sherlock snorted. "Please. You sound like Moriarty."

"You're not a good person. You know that, right?"

"You've told me many times before."

"Good people **don't get up here."**

"I'm not the nicest person, nor do I claim to be. So, I think I'm fine making my way up here."

John enjoyed the banter that Sherlock exchanged with GLaDOS. It reminded him of when he first started watching crap telly, yelling at the TV host. For someone so brilliant, it was really hilarious watching his best friend be snarky with something that can't even respond.

"This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this."

"I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I **will** kill you. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone! You don't even care."

"I never was one for cake, but I'm sure Mycroft would be heartbroken over the thought of there being no cake."

The tea John was drinking ended up on the other side of the room. It was a pretty distance considering it was through his nose.

* * *

><p>"Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. "<p>

"I wasn't aware that AIs had hearts. However, you're vastly intelligent and your cunning nature is too much like a human. So, I'll give you that."

John didn't know why he was cheering Sherlock on like he was playing a game of football, but he did it anyway. Now he wanted to try the game for himself. He felt his skin crawl when GLaDOS's voice dropped into an almost seductive tone while she talked about murdering everyone in the facility with a deadly neurotoxin.

They both cheered when Sherlock finally beat her. When he finally got his cake at the end, he gave a "HA!" because the person who was supposedly in the chambers before him wasn't as smart as he was.

As a joke, John bought him a Black Forest Cake. Even though Sherlock said he wasn't a fan of cake, he couldn't resist cutting a slice for both of them and Mrs. Hudson. He sent a picture of it to Mycroft to taunt him since he was on a diet.


	3. Raccoon, Hippo, and a Paraplegic Turtle

**A/N: I am SO sorry everyone! It's been forever since I've updated, but school had been insane and then I just lost motivation to write over the course of my vacation XD**

Disclaimer: I don't own Sly Cooper or any of the shows mentioned, but I do own Joanna and William.

John was ecstatic that Harry and Clara had reconciled and got back together. In fact, they have even started a family. They had two children with the help of a sperm donor: a 7 year old daughter names Joanna and a 10 year old son named William. Joanna looked like Harry and her "Uncle Jawn", with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes that were more like a kaleidoscope, changing with every mood. William looked more like Clara, with shaggy brown hair and green eyes. The children were very bright, sweet, and intelligent, a reflection of their mothers.

Both women worked, and even when they tried to coordinate their schedules, they had to occasionally ask John to watch them. He was more than happy to oblige.

John normally came on his free weeknights when Harry and Clara were working late. The children would do their homework, with John helping out as best as he could, and then he would cook dinner for them. They relaxed a little bit after dinner by watching telly, mostly the Discovery Channel because that's what their mums watched. It's not to say that they didn't watch cartoons; while they enjoyed those, they preferred to watch the Mythbusters blow up stuff.

Since John was a doctor, and their mums were both nurses, they heard way too many stories from the hospital, but they thought they were the coolest things ever. William discovered the show _Monsters Inside Me_, and forced his little sister to watch. He assumed she would be grossed out, but she thought the show was awesome.

For Christmas, Clara had purchased a PlayStation along with the Sly Cooper games. She read the reviews and figured it would be a nice game for them to play. The children were hooked immediately. They bickered a lot about who got to do what mission and who got to play as what character. Joanna liked Sly because he could climb all over the place. William liked Murray because he could beat the crap out of loads of enemies easily. Eventually, they came to an agreement and picked out their missions. John sat back on the couch and watched them play, asking them questions about who their favorite characters were. He tried it for himself and was surprised to find that he enjoyed the game as well.

There was a lull in the amount of clients that came through 221B, meaning that Sherlock played Portal and Portal 2 in an attempt to stimulate his mind again. John had to seriously fight the impulse to bash his head through a wall because his best friend again decided to make conversation with GLaDOS. It was more annoying than endearing at this point. John worked at the hospital more often, taking any patients that Sarah threw at him. She asked him why he was working much more often than he normally did. He gave her a look and she made an "ahhhh" noise, walking away snickering with her clipboard.

John asked Sherlock to accompany him a few times to watch the kids, and he said yes to appease him. Sherlock surprised himself by having fun with the kids. John had told him to be nice to them, but Sherlock knew that just as much because he knew that John loved them. Most of the time, they watched telly and laughed as Sherlock debunked pretty much everything in the way he knew how. Other times, they did puzzles together, and Sherlock enjoyed that a lot. He was patient and helped them out when they were having troubles.

* * *

><p>One night, John was sitting at his desk after a long day at work, typing up the latest entry on his blog. Even though there was nothing exciting going on, he figured the viewers would appreciate what life is life in 221B outside of the cases. Sherlock protested to it, but John insisted that it makes them more human and more relatable.<p>

His mobile rang and he picked it up without even looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

"Hi Uncle John!" It sounded like his nephew was fighting off his little sister for the phone.

"Hello William! How are you?"

"Good. Mum and mummy are going out tonight and wanted me to call you and tell you that you need to watch us tonight." John rolled his eyes. When Harry really wanted something, instead of asking him, she told him.

He glanced over to Sherlock, who was currently flip-flopping positions on the couch while reading through the newspaper.

"I'll be over soon. Would your mum mind if I brought Sherlock along? I think he needs to get out of the house and interact with more people," he asked, his voice dropping at the last sentence.

John heard muffled talking at the other end of the line, followed by a loud squeal. "Yeah, she said it's fin—Joanna!" He heard his voice turn away from the phone. "You'll see Uncle John soon! He's bringing Uncle Sherlock!"

John groaned. The last thing he needed was his niece and nephew thinking that he and his flatmate were married. It was bad enough that all of Scotland Yard and practically everyone that they interacted with thought they were a couple.

"Alright, I'll see you both soon. Love you."

"Love you too! BYE UNCLE JAWN!" Their voice overlapped each other. He hung up the phone and turned back to his laptop, contemplating for a few moments. In his peripheral vision, he saw Sherlock's head lolled to the side, burning him with his gaze. John gave him a deadpan look that said, "Can I help you?" He had received this look too often. It normally meant that the sometimes 6-year-old detective wanted something from him, but expected him to know what it was.

"We're going to Harry's. She and Clara are having a date night and they need us to watch the kids."

"Isn't that what babysitters are for?"

"They want their kids to spend lots of quality time with their favorite uncles who conveniently live within the city limits," he sighed.

Sherlock made a grunting noise and sat up, ruffling his hair. He froze, and looked up at John, his eyes narrowed. "Why do they call **us** their favorite uncles? You're their uncle since Harry's your sister. But saying that I'm an uncle implies that—"

"I think this is the first time you've made any acknowledgement of what everyone says about us," John chuckled, drinking his tea.

"Hmm? Do people really talk about us in that way that often?"

John spat out his tea, luckily turning his head at the last minute so that it didn't get all over his laptop screen. Was Sherlock really that oblivious? It was either that, or he just conveniently chose to delete that information, leaving poor John to have to deal with the assumptions.

He turned to Sherlock, whose head was tilted to the side. His eyebrows were furrowed, making him look even more like a child. John's mouth opened and closed like a fish, unsure of how to respond. Normally, he's good at thinking about what to say before saying it, but he had his moments sometimes.

"Have you BEEN here ever since we met?" He asked, incredulous.

"John, I'm only kidding. Of course I've been here. I just choose not to respond to what people say," Sherlock replied.

"And why not?"

"It's not relevant to the work. Besides, I didn't think you cared so much about what people said about you," the detective said, standing up to possibly check on the phalanges in the refrigerator.

"I—I suppose I do. It really shouldn't matter, should it?" John sighed.

"What do you think?"

Before John could reply, Sherlock said, "I'll leave you to it," and went to his room.

* * *

><p>To John's surprise, Sherlock actually owned a pair of jeans. He even wore a green jumper, although it was fancier than John's favorite oatmeal jumper. It was definitely a change to see him in more casual clothing, but it also made him look more approachable and less like the world's only consulting detective.<p>

They hailed a taxi and went to Harry and Clara's house. As they approached the front door, they heard muffled squeals, followed by some shouting. The door flew open as a flash of blonde hair pounced on John, almost taking him out. Luckily, Sherlock caught him at his elbow so that he didn't fall backwards on the pavement.

John laughed as he picked Joanna up and peppered her face with kisses. "Hi Joanna. How are you?"

She wriggled around in his arms, trying to find a comfortable position. "Good. Uncle Jawn, are you and Uncle Sherlock going to play video games with us?"

"I know I will, but you'll have to ask Uncle Sherlock nicely if you want him to play," he stated.

She turned towards Sherlock and looked at him curiously.

"Uncle Sherlock, will you play with us, please?"

"I've never played it before," he admitted, "so is it okay if I watch before I try?"

"Yeah!" She giggled.

Sherlock chuckled and tapped her on the nose. It was something that he did when she was cross and it never failed to turn her mood around.

They all headed inside and went into the living room. John put Joanna down and she scampered off, while he went off to find his sister. William came in and hugged both of them and turned around to set up the Playstation. Sherlock wandered around the room, looking at all of the photos adorning the mantle. The family portrait of them was really quite lovely: Harry and Clara were sitting in chairs, with William and Joanna sitting in lower chairs in front of them so that their mums could each drape an arm around them. Their smiles seemed to lighten up the whole picture.

Harry, Clara, and John's voices drifted downstairs and got louder as they went into the foyer. Sherlock perked up his ears.

"Harry, don't worry, we've got everything covered. Just go have fun with Clara, alright?" John pleaded. He loved her, but she still worried too much for her own good.

She scoffed as she put on her shoes. "I know you do, John. I'm just..." she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I still don't really trust Sherlock..."

Sherlock snorted. He figured she would say that.

John placed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it. "Sherlock can be a git most of the time, but it doesn't mean he's a machine. I'm assuming you've heard the kids talk about him?"

She nodded. "They really like him. They talk about him almost as much as you."

"So why are you so worried?"

Harry paused and smiled. "I really don't have to worry that much at all, do I?"

"Nah. But, I'll keep him in line if I have to," John chuckled.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. He busied himself with talking to William about the game.

"So William, what's the game that we're going to play?"

"It's called Sly Cooper. You play as a raccoon named Sly Cooper, who steals from the bad guys. You can also play as his friends Murray, a hippo who can beat up anyone, or Bentley. He's a turtle in a wheelchair, but he has a lot of cool stuff attached to it."

Sherlock nodded. "How far are you on it?"

"I'm at this part in the level where we have to beat everyone up in a lemonade bar."

"Why?"

"Well, they're trying to destroy this evil mask and one of the bad guys is wearing. They think that by beating him, they'll get rid of the mask," William explained.

"Bye Harry and Clara!"

"Bye bye mum and mummy!" Both John and Joanna's voices overlapped as Sherlock and William heard the door shut behind them.

John and Joanna came into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Sherlock and William.

"Right, let's play that game then, shall we?"

* * *

><p>After watching both of the kids play on this level for what felt like forever, Sherlock came to some interesting conclusions:<p>

Joanna is more prone to simply smashing buttons than her brother. William, on the other hand, used a more strategic approach to overcoming the levels where he had to defeat a lot of enemies, such as leading them to the electric fence and using the assorted buttons to release weapons.

However, neither of their playing strategies have helped them conquer the "Lemonade Brawl." Joanna cried shrilly at the TV and William only just missed the TV as he threw the controller across the room. After failing to complete the level for a fifth time, he paused it and scowled.

"William, have you tried using more of your tools, like the rocket boots?" Sherlock quipped. He obviously knew the solution and wanted to have a go, but he enjoyed seeing the kids be successful on their own.

"Er, no. Is it worth trying?" He asked.

"You could give it a shot."

"Sure, I'll try it Uncle Sherlock."

Everyone cheered when he defeated the main boss in the level. From there on out, they all took turns completing the different operations. It didn't take long before they had essentially finished the game. With a little help from the kids, John and Sherlock got the hang of it and had a really good time playing, even if it was just a video game.

Harry and Clara came back from their night out to the sounds of laughter mixed with shouting as William and Joanna cheered on John and Sherlock. The men were battling each other in a biplane battle and it was evenly matched.

From then on, John and Sherlock took it upon themselves to find more fun games for the whole family to enjoy.


End file.
